17 Sex Toys That Will Scare the Fuck Out of You ***NSFW***

Not all sex toys are created equal as it turns out and some kinks can't be explained away as mere fetish.  The following "toys" bear a more striking resemblance to perversion.  So before you let the next phallus past the holy steps of your labia, perhaps it requires you asking, "Hey pal, where you've been putting your penis lately?"    

For as Valerie Solanas madly cautioned in The S.C.U.M. (Society for Cutting Up Men) Manifesto:

"Eaten up with guilt, shame, fears and insecurities and obtaining, if he's lucky, a barely perceptible physical feeling, the male is, nonetheless, obsessed with screwing; he'll swim a river of snot, wade nostril-deep through a mile of vomit, if he thinks there'll be a friendly pussy awaiting him. He'll screw a woman he despises, any snaggle-toothed hag, and, further, pay for the opportunity. Why? Relieving physical tension isn't the answer, as masturbation suffices for that. It's not ego satisfaction; that doesn't explain screwing corpses and babies."

Combined with the cleverly apt observation of the homogeneous pornification tainting American media by Rashida Jones - it's literally bound to scare the fuck out of you eventually, when you realize what some perverts have been sticking their cocks in.  

#1). Pipedreams Area 51 Love Doll

The box brags about this alien having "3 Out Of This World LOVE Holes" and included "Free Alien Lube" (which is alluded to as being green).  The mouth is shaped like a pussy, just like the pussy and purportedly has asses for ears.  I'm not sure what the anus is supposed to look like, but it's probably a pussy too.

This alien love slave also sports 3 boobs.  And I have a feeling it's this scene in Total Recall that's really to blame for the third tit:

Male fantasy dictates that females sacrifice self-fulfillment in adulation of the male, existing solely as titillation for the male gaze and ego, and that entry into our bodies can be obtained through 3 separate orifices--2 taken completely outside of their assigned biological function and context--often for their pleasure and to our determent.  This sex doll could be interpreted as merely being a gag novelty gift, especially as Amazon with only two user reviews indicates the product is currently unavailable and they're unsure when or if this item will be back in stock, so there's thankfully apparently not a large demand out there.  Still. The emphasize is on parts. You'll see over and over again as we plunge forward a disturbing reoccurring theme is dismemberment and anatomization.  Thereby demonstrating, in the truly patriarchal misogynist mind, a female is not worth the sum of her parts, she is summarized by her parts.  This.  Should be terrifying to any rational, enlightened mind.  The female is denied her humanity, in favor of her physicality. 

 #2). Fleshlight Frankenpussy

What was Frankenstein?--a man composed of many sewn together corpses who only achieves divine animation through its master.  So is this Frankenpussy all stitched together with dead women?--only achieving "animation" when engaged by its "master"?  Why would any man find this a turn-on?  Is it because so many American TV shows center around violence against women as central theme-plots?  Covering unoriginal writing of repeated rapes, serial killings, beatings, kidnappings, pedophilia, and sex trafficking?  Jesus.   

#3). Fleshlight My Little Pony Collection

If you were a little girl born sometime around the 1980's this dev\ice is just an affront to your inner child.  Somewhere, the entire psycho-sphere is crying.  This is also the antithesis of brony - a tender truce with bro-kind.  In fact many a brony despises the sexualization of these beloved ponies and this resulted in the break-away sect of "choppers" that proudly do.  This Fleshlight is yet somehow still not as vile as this real life perv (who must be a chopper)...

...who decided to keep Rainbow Dash in an ever growing jar of jizz:

Or as vile as this giant Adult Twilight Sparkle Plush toy getting molested and apparently sold.  CAUTION, this video is very disturbing and inserted here for educational purposes only.

Filth such as this really begs to question, where do we morally draw a line?--sexual behavior like this is literally deviant, it blurs lines on pedophilia and bestiality.  Sex play between two consensual adults is one thing but when you start screwing inanimate objects that are specifically and originally manufactured for child's play, it gets a little fuzzy.  It gets, alarming.  I'm really made uncomfortable by watching this video.  I know it is apparently important for the "porn industry" for people to believe that in sex anything goes, but that belief system is erroneous and only in effect to maximize profit, because when nothing is sacred, it's not immune to exploitation for monetary gain.  And not everybody feels this way.  We aren't all puppets being pulled by our libido hither thither.  And not all of us want to be sold sex, especially if we don't find it sexy.  This isn't sexy, it's straight up disturbing.  

#4). See Me Spread Pussy Masturbator

This sex toy gives the illusion of participation, but again, through dismemberment of the female form.  It's more pathetic then it is sexy.  It also demonstrates how desperate a male can become for penetration, the female essence becomes reduced to parts and a hole.    

#5). The Darth Dildo

I'm honestly not sure if this is a real product or not.  It appears on the cover of some sex book called FEED ME/Fully Fattened 2, about a fetish involving overfeeding women.  Either way, this picture exists and so do these awful books.  Had this been a mask worn by a performance artist, I'd say it's a silent commentary on the sexual and verbal repression of women in lieu of what a penis wants to hear, which is probably a lot less talking and a lot more sucking.  It would have also been a commentary on how women are being suffocated and enslaved by constantly having to filter the air they breathe through a phallic mouth piece, thereby adulterating our very vocabulary and source of self-identity.  Either way, this is the stuff of nightmares, not wet dreams.    

#6). Rubber Ducky Vibrator

This is a product that is no doubt more so geared towards women, but the fact that it's really a toddler's bath toy in origin, kinda shrinks my soul.  Maybe it's supposed to be discrete, but it's also supposed to be a child's bath toy and again, the line against pedophilia and bestiality gets flirted with and it just doesn't sit right.  Erine sang "Rubber Ducky" to me as a toddler and it was beautiful, this is just too symbolic of childhood and innocence to ever be considered a valid sex toy.  I know there's a certain naughtiness when it comes to taboo acts, but, come'on, a rubber ducky is nothing to cum on.  

#7). Cast Parts

A lot of "adult entertainers" take casts of their body parts in order that they be mass manufactured and sold.  So they literally sell off parts of their body.  The viewer of their pornographic content then gets the ability to have ownership over whatever body part gets them aroused from that particular entertainer.  This is any body part you can imagine and I'm sure entire sex dolls are modeled from their image as well.   Again, this shows valuing body parts as the commodity, the personality is nullified when things like this happen.  And if a young woman does this to herself to further her finances, she's lost.  It's really a tacky, grotesque thing to do to yourself.  It's sex slavery by proxy.  Really should love yourself and hold yourself to higher standards.  This might be something these entertainers will regret one day, especially when or if they become mothers.  You hear that as a common lamentation among many women in the spotlight, even if they're regular actresses or singers.  Think about all the men, that you wouldn't have sex with in reality and realize those are the ones buying these products.  Icky.    

 

#8). Lotus Pussy Masturbator

Very Georgia O'Keeffe.  Very disturbing.  Very humorous.  And that's part of the insult, that female sexuality is to be scoffed at continuously while the male's is celebrated?  That women have mysterious lady parts that are to be coveted and misunderstood?  Too many women are having unnecessary plastic surgery, everything from breast implants to labiaplasty.  Love yourself, stop trying to fit into some type of homogeneous sex mold.  Celebrate and delight in the unique novices of your body.  Also, educate yourself on your anatomy.  For instance, if you don't know what Bartholin's glands are, maybe you don't really deserve to partake in the act of copulation in the first place.     

#9). Anime Inspired Sex Toys

Anime is basically cartoons with childlike features, no matter how well endowed.  If he's putting his penis in her face... 

...what's stopping him from putting his penis in her face?  Both faces look pretty similar.  What's going to stop the temptation?--a sense of mighty moral accountability?  Doubt it.

#10). Mr. Jack (Off)

This is just horrifying.  Even if I was a gay male, I would not use this.  Unsettling. 

#11). Rainbow Dash Blow-up Sex Doll

The fleshlights and plush toys are just apparently not enough for some guys.  This pony comes endowed and with a sexy outfit.  Single mothers--screen your suitors.  Maybe even become a lesbian.  Might be a safer bet for your daughters.  

#12). Cup O'Nude

Pussy in a cup.  Debased to the essential characteristics of a pussy as pink hole.  Served up hot in Styrofoam.  

#13). Robo Suck

A basic transparent hole meant to pleasure the male, because his sexual fulfillment might ultimately have absolutely nothing to do with appearances (imagine all the money you've wasted on hair accessories and make-up) and merely centers on the ability of how well a hole fits and sucks.  The male fantasy of sex slave may just yet be lived out in the form of robots, in which case, good?

#14). Jesse's SENSO Foot Fetish Fantasy

A transparent foot with "stroker beads" is barely human in appearance.  Again modeled after the real foot from a porn starlet.  Creepier then the Monkey's Paw. 

#15). RealTouch Interactive

Another robotic based device, meant to be synchronized to a webcam girl (and according to other sites, POV porn), in any case, this is about as far away as a real vagina anyone could ever get.  The name is deceitful as nothing compares to the real touch of an engrossed and emotionally invested lover.  This device is more about self-gratification and is really a contraption for the socially awkward and lonely.  Dudes, if you want a real touch, get in-touch with your real feelings and talk to a lady that can hold your attention and a conversation.  Don't take the easy route, you're cheating yourself out of the real love of a real woman, which is the closest you're ever going to get to divinity.   

#16). Vajankle

An extremely realistic looking severed foot complete with a vagina.  This looks like a Halloween prop, but disarmingly, it's a real sex toy.  Even more creepy is the ability to "customize" the toenails.  Perverts can customize the Vajankle in every shade from "cream" to "espresso." They can choose red nail polish, a French manicure or a custom polish on the toes.  This makes me want to scream until I loose my voice.  Imagine finding this in your new boyfriends nightstand drawer.  Your first instinct would be to call the cops.  Completely revolting, the female form is again reduced to fetish and parts.  I've seen pictures online circulating with this product in real high heel shoes.  High heel shoes deform your feet eventually ladies and can seriously give you health issues.  Why do that to yourselves?--is it worth it to be perceived as "sexy" by some guy whose head would be turned by the next set of feet, because he's not interested in *you*, he's interested in pursuing his fetish.  And fetishes, like addictions, can't really be maintained by one source.

#17). The Reloadable Hymen Sex Doll

Yeah, this sex doll comes with a reloadable hymen.  So, blood and dismemberment with this sex toy are finally united.  The female loss of virginity is painful, sometimes forced, is confusing, embarrassing and is another fetish meant to be relived by the perpetrator of penetration.  A sex toy for the serial female virgin fucker, this is perhaps the most sadistic "toy", that I have literally ever seen.  

All of these sex toys, aren't toys at all.  They are inanimate objects that symbolize male domination over the female form.  They dissect you down to pieces.  They own your pieces.  They stick their penises in your pieces.  They take childhood toys, holy artifacts of youth and innocence, perverting it down to debauchery.  They take flights of fancy and create items meant for sale.  And to hell how these items might ultimately be used or what ends, or what amount of psychic pain they may cause.  Money, power, sex - we don't all share the same values or emphasis on these topics, so I uselessly shout into the void, how dare you to whomever is making this fucking sick ass shit.  For countless kids to probably Google and not understand.  Fuck you for helping perverts rationalize their deviant sexual behavior to themselves.  This contributes nothing to society at large.  This only undermines the delicate ethos that barely exist in this day and age.  It would be comical, if it wasn't so horrible.     

So with all these perversions available, why do some men still screw babies and corpses?