LADY GODIVA: The Naked Truth

I think it goes without saying that my life has been one complete utter shit show. Nobody cares about me or my life, and I've made peace with that. Unlike most people, I don't really need to feel important.  I used to have phrases I'd say to people when people were still around. I'd say things like, "I am The Lizard Queen," and "Don't you have any idea of who I think I am?", and "if wishes were kisses, we'd never be lonely."  I find myself very alone lately. But not lonely. I've always been a wallflower. Many of my favorite activities can only be done alone. I was an only child raised by a single parent, my father. Oftentimes, in life growing up, I was alone. We were extremely poor, and my dad was extremely abusive, so I never had friends over. The last time I had a friend over, he hit me in front of them, even though their dad was his best friend. He kept making me clean the splash wall by the stove, over and over and over agai...

I dreamt you sat in my father’s chair, your throat bound silent with something I couldn’t name. And as I watched you sitting there, I couldn’t help but still take the blame. You glared up, misreading the note and the room, thinking I’d whisper words I still couldn’t say. But while standing, I saw your type of man, and knew you were never gonna pray or pay.  We felt the air change in this strange room, had our chests been storms, they would have been a monsoon.  And just as soon as I thought I would swoon, I heard the murmur moving throughout the platoon. That’s when I knew what I now know: when you didn’t ask me not to go, I could no longer stay. All we could never say aloud, it has already hushed an entire crowd. So I’m dubious now of your mood or the room… True love or sheer madness, it all ends in doom. 

He was lucky, he says. My lawyer said my assailant was lucky. Lucky how? Aren't I the one who's lucky to be alive? Supposed to be lucky anyway.  No, I say, I'm the lucky one.  Try to frivolously explain how this is all just Institutionalized Weaponized Incompetence. How this Brotherhood of Men they are better at turning heads than they are at pages.  Just as they're better at raising funds than they are at wages. Decry pornography as their 'free speech' to conveniently not categorize all the femicides it causes or how all the women on the show Wives With Knives had merely befallen to Battered Women Syndrome.  Males will cast you in their star-earned role of Psycho Bitch  but if you get picked, seven years in, they'll still get that itch... For boys will be boys, and men have needs. That's why they loosen their ties to roll up their sleeves; only honest men could ever perceive how a woman deceives. Graverobbers calling us golddiggers.  Meanwhile, I wait f...

You approached the middle of a crisis   like a pissed off drunken Pisces   I’m the city you only ever  drive right on through. But the time has come to pass  where we’re all running out of gas  & the cell signal and triple A  just both won’t come through. I will never understand  the empty ring finger on my hand or why my life’s been an endless white water rapids drive through  They say you know when you know  & that you reap just what you sow  Surly, I wish, that you had knew. Because the shadows they grow long  across an unloved lawn  that should have been  mowed  over a week ago.  I told the cops about the hole behind your bedroom door  and that it’s funny that they had phoned. Because I don’t want this imposter, this wife on loan, to call me  anymore  I don’t want to eat her dinner and I don’t want her to eat mine,  there’s no place for my placemat anyways.  It’s not so much m...

I didn’t watch this all yet but I will say.  That the chicken coups catching on fire is excessive.  The numbers of chickens dying due to the fires seems to be vastly unreported and the price increases on eggs and wings seems to be proof enough of that. Train derailments do just happen from time and the over-reporting on them could be psych ops.  In fact, I think most of what we experience in life is a type if psych ops.  Too many times decision making of the few. Titians of industry, who are never VOTED into office, have the power to impact the lives of many.  I’m not sure if in my lifetime it will ever be fully grasped what lobbyists have truly done to us.  The efforts of the car, asphalt, concrete, cigarette, and alcohol industries should be plainly seen by us all.  Anxiety could’ve easily been constantly induced by such individuals as it’s a well known fact that when anxious humans engage in all sorts of unhealthy destructive behaviors like smoking ...

Sometimes I get lonesome but then I remember… your smoking of cigarettes well past December.   All of your premature ejects.   All of your pathological projects.  Chemicals as scents. How you don’t repent at Lent, familiarity as leisurely bred contempt.  When you tell me where you were, still wonder where you went.  All that money was better spent, and yet you still sent for her? Despicable with a diploma.  Murderous over a GED.   She always asks for a ride and a buck thirty-five,  it was the way she wore a maxi  that devolved you to taxi  and we competed for a Medusa heart.   He hated how I coughed and how she didn’t fart.   So I think I’ll skip the romance, I get more love from my art. 

You were wearing your very dark navy blue windbreaker that had the half zipper and red-orange collar insert over a crisp white t-shirt, light tan kakis, and dark brown leather loafers.  You were extra gleeful that day because your response to me yelling at you on LinkedIn about how we were only ever going to be coworkers and that’s all we were ever going to be was blocking me.  I got stuck at the door because I was trying to be polite and hold the door behind me for someone who ended up being much slower than anticipated and you blindly barreled towards me with singular abandon, loudly and joyfully announcing good morning to everyone in ear shot albeit who you really wanted to say good morning to *was me* and you seized that moment when I was stuck in the doorway to torpedo charge ahead and Adrienne watched the whole scene unfold, horrified as many were by sensing our forbidden secret love because she realized that I was panicked and trapped but your singular hellbent purpose ...