Emphysema (poem)

I was 33, when I lost my gumption
I was 33, when I lost my nerve
Almost 34, know nothin' 'bout free lunches
Almost 34, and I know all 'bout free dinners

And there ain't no prayer,
and there ain't no gospel.
I'm feelin' scared,
the whole entire world seems so hostile.

And there ain't no jewels,
no celebrity press.
Just a bunch of girls,
walking around with no breasts on their chests.
Life's a short walk to a hospice.
Spend your whole life,
looking for an accomplice.
Then pause, look back_
_what did you accomplish?
Did you get around
to doin' dat thang?
--Don't worry none, if you didn't.
Something looks a lot like nothing,
Naked emperors don't need no cloak,
sometimes when you're alive,
the only way to keep breathin'
is to smoke.

I don't fault you any,
for the spaghetti in your lungs.
I don't begrudge you,
for all of those drugs.

Sometimes, you just gotta feel_
    _purple.

Sometime, you just have to float.

Because the body, it wrinkles, fades, & can
    bloat.

You gotta coat
this shit filled Twinkie 
with sugar
'cause shit don't sparkle.

I know I'm gonna still miss you tomorrow...

But I'm 33 and I've lost my nerve.
I'm 33 and I've lost my gumption.
Don't know nothing 'bout any free luncheon,
but I'll eat that free dinner, if you care to serve.