Mad About You (poem)

I hope I didn't hurt your feelings last night,

or rather

I hope I did hurt your feelings, but

you forgive me.  Quickly.

Because if you aren't feeling this physic marriage too

then I'm developing a very late in life personality disorder, or

schizophrenia.

You can't understand that 2 minutes around you laid waste

to 7 years of what I mistook for love.  

Mainly, as I did not disclose this information.

Nor do you know how hard I've been praying and hoping,
this 

isn't lymphoma, 

to not be falling ever so harder in love with you, I promise, 

not trying to wreck your life or current relationship, but

Please God, 

don't let him marry her.

I just want you to be happy.

I feel like I know things, and

I know I love you like I know water is wet.

The truth, is

I can't stop thinking about you.

I think about you all of the time

turning over each little memory I have of you, of us, 

over and over again in my mind.

I can forget about you at work sometimes, but

I feel connected to you, I want us to be connected.

The thing, is

I'm not really sure all of the time how you really feel about me

so then I don't know what I should do and I'm, sure

you'll probably maybe forgive me, because

my heart pounds, it skips sometimes when I think of you, and

only when I think of you.

I want to be able to kiss you, hello 

and goodbye, 

hold your hand in public, 

know where you're at all times not because of a tracking app

in our smartphones, but 

because I already know where you are and how you are 

feeling, especially about me because 

I feel this unearthly connection 

that is ever so much more than infatuation or even

obsession. 

This is either an inexperienced mutual feeling, or

I am going very mad.