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Showing posts from March, 2019

"Daddy Issues" Episode #5 - The Hat Pin, Part I (memoir)

Growing up as a child there were some strict arbitrary rules I was obligated to abide by - no makeup, no pierced ears, only white underwear.  We had a secret knock when I was left home alone and was too short yet to peek through the spy-hole, various code words exchanged to be used in a variety of circumstances (specifically, on the phone , this will become important again later), and there was an antique ladies hat pin, an extremely deadly type of hat pin , a literal hairpin dagger about 11 inches long my father instructed me how to use in the living-room of Mentor Square Apartments, when he was still employed at Ohio Rubber, he showed me how to use it as a skillful weapon. All afternoon in the living room.  Teaching me to stab testicles, eyeballs, and windpipes.  With an antique hatpin.  I was maybe 6 years old?  7?    As soon as my dad got custody of me, he put what was basically an extension of himself, because he's a Malignant Narc...

Stay (poem)

Family was a mere word to me. Phantamsnial phenomena, distant memory. Phantom nostalgia comes to visit. The affliction? E xquisite.   You can build that Wonderwall You can be a feather and you can be a stone but just stay and say that  I'm home. Whisper into my mouth, keep all the promises. Buy me that painting carve my name in that tree You can yell, you can critique  but please, don't you leave Too. Can't endure the thought of losing, can't stand this emotive of love.   If I can't get your hugs, I'll strive for shoves.   Because indifference can't win. If we did the wrong thing, it'd be my favorite sin. This feels uncanny, your eyes always shine. My hands will get clammy, won't you please be mine? On every Valentine, on every day. Would you waltz this-a-way and be my Michael Walter? Would you come to replenish my soul with your water? I love you like I love all of the music, I love ...